Secrets and Lies
by NatalieVale
Summary: Sometimes, you must keep secrets. Even if it hurts. The truth can kill. First multi-chapter work. Riza Hawkeye/Maria Ross wonderful Yuri-ness, which doesn't seem to have as much of a following as it should. Rated M for the likelihood of cursing and suggestive themes. Enjoy.


Maria Ross had learned a lot about Riza, purely by the way she slept. She loved to watch the way the blonde's face softened with the lack of consciousness. Her hair was tousled out beneath her and all over the pillow. Her breath was gentle and rhythmic, soothing as music to the brunette's ears. This was a side that no one else saw of the fierce 2nd Lieutenant Hawkeye. Maria found her way to Riza's bed, getting a small smile from the way she found her secret lover. Riza was curled up on her side, facing the door. An arm was casually draped over Maria's spot as if welcoming the woman home. There was a faint smile gracing those beautiful, slender lips. Maria happily moved to climb beneath the blankets, snuggling close to the woman she shared the bed with. Riza shifted enough in her sleep to wrap one arm around her waist and held her close.

Maria gently laid her face against the blonde's chest, enjoying the warmth and comfort radiating from the other woman. She knew that Riza was not often one for showing affection to anyone, especially in public, so she took in every second of it that she could. She was glad, however, that she could have all of this to herself. As she started to drift, she thought of the things she had learned about the blonde woman she was slowly falling for.

Riza would furrow her brow ever so slightly when she was beginning to struggle with her paperwork, like she always did when she started to get tired. Maria often walked in on the other woman readjusting her hair as she stretched while she quietly worked in the study. Most meats were not found in the house or for dinner. But, more so than that, she knew so much about the woman just by the position that she chose to lay in.

If she was laying as Maria found her on this evening, she was longing for the company of her lover. She wanted to cuddle and be cute. These were always the brunette's favorite nights. Occasionally, Riza would wake up and give loving, sweet kisses. They would talk for hours, eventually falling asleep in each others arms without a care or worry as to anyone finding them in the morning. On these nights, Maria felt like she could honestly have the harsh woman forever.

Some nights, most often, she would find the woman asleep face down with her arms curled in beneath her. After a while, she had learned that these were the nights where Riza was the one who needed to be held. The otherwise strong woman showed her weakness in silent tears that left her exhausted. Maria would have to coax the woman into her arms for comfort, but it never took much before she had a clinging Riza. Maria hated the nights of sorrow.

Possibly, more than those nights, she hated when she found Riza laying flat on her back. These nights, there would not be secret kisses and loving conversations of the future. She wanted Roy instead of her. Even though they would share the same bed, they were worlds apart and there would be no warmth in the hours of rest. The thought of the coldness in Riza's eyes made Maria's eyes water and her heart sink. She was made to thinks, because of the withdrawal from their hushed comfort, that she would never fully be what Riza wanted. Which hurt her deeply. She was not Roy, nor could she be him in any way.

However, on certain nights, Riza wouldn't have her in her bed at all. It would go so far as the blonde getting up and locking her out entirely. Maria knew, though, what caused her nightmares that she felt she needed to face in solitude. Dreams of her father mixed with the horrors of Ishval that she had seen and done to cause her such a guilty, restless sleep. On the one occasion that she had seen Riza's night terrors, the beautiful blonde's face was contorted with fear and rage. Whimpers escaped from her lips. She lay on her side, facing away from the door, curled up with her knees in her chest. When Maria had reached out to touch her, intending to kiss away every demon that plagued her, Riza lashed out in anger, yelling and demanding she left. It had hurt, but she knew better than protest.

Tonight, though, she was given the sleeping angel that she loved so dearly. The woman was peacefully asleep and Maria believed that, in that moment, she could honestly keep Riza. Their secret could be told, and accepted by those they felt needed to be in the dark. There could be a wedding, adoption of children, comfort in the later years, and everything that she could ever want. Her mind drifted into the thoughts of this future as she fell asleep to the soft sounds of her lover's own peaceful sleep.

* * *

Maria hated waking up more than anything else after nights that were spent in secret. She never wanted to leave the safety of her lover's bed. She had kept the relationship away from her best friend and partner, Denny Brosh, whom she knew loved and cared deeply for her. This was just something that no one who was directly involved with either of the two could know about. As she laid there, dreading the moment she knew was soon to come, she felt the woman next to her shift and snuggle closer against her side. Maria gained a small smile and slowly opened her navy eyes. She took in the sight of the gorgeous blonde who lay next to her, head buried in pillows to block out the beginning rays of morning poking through the curtains of the bedroom they shared but once every few weeks, when they could do so without interruption or suspicion.

"Riza," she whispered, shifting herself to kiss along the sleepy blonde's cheek and temple. There was a slight sigh from her fellow officer, but no sign of awareness. Maria giggled softly while watching her. "Riza. It is time to get up."

Riza Hawkeye made a face before burying her face more into the pillow that shielded her from the reality of morning, "I would rather not get up..."

Maria shifted to press her nose right against Riza's cheek, "Neither do I... But, we need to get up... Denny and Roy are probably waiting on us."

This got the pretty blonde's attention. She shifted her face out now and gently gave the brunette a little kiss, "The boys can wait. I want a few more minutes with you." Maria grinned at this before nuzzling her nose against Riza's. Riza grinned sleepily right back, moving to wrap her arms around her. "I know we took a shower last night, but should we go take another one?"

"We will be late if we do," Maria giggled softly, staying close. "One shower will have to just hold us over until either we get home or next time."

Riza sighed softly, stealing another kiss, "I suppose you are right. Are you supposed to meet Brosh at his house?"

Maria nodded as she pulled away, "Yeah... You and Roy?"

"He wants me to meet him at the train station." Maria nodded at the blonde's words before fully sitting up. Riza spoke as she watched her, "One of these days, we can get away from this and move far away. A place where we don't have to leave at separate times, or leave at all if we don't want to."

"I know, Riza... But, it is a fairy tale to dream about right now," the brunette sighed sadly. "Roy will never let you leave and I couldn't hurt Brosh by disappearing again."

Riza sat up as well now, leaning in towards Maria, "We don't have to disappear... We can just retire. We can go far away from Central. They can still see us and they will know where we are..."

"But, we can't do that. And you know it."

Riza sighed heavily before leaning back again, "I don't want to live in secret all of my life, Maria. I don't want to see you go off with Brosh and be happy while I am stuck pretending that Roy is everything I could ever want."

Maria frowned just a little at this. She had no idea where it was coming from. Riza was often the one trying to keep Maria from spilling everything. "You seem happy with him, anyways. What if he could be?" This came out before the woman could tame down what she was saying.

The blonde gained a slightly irritated look before getting up, "If that is what you think, then maybe it is time to go."

"Riza, I didn't mean it like that."

She was not listening at this point, turning to grab her black undershirt to pull on, "This conversation is over. It is time to go to work." With that simple statement, Maria's beautiful Riza had once again turned into her superior officer and was soon to be giving commands rather than loving requests.

Flustered and almost angry, Maria got up to join Riza in getting changed into her street clothes. She would change into her blues once she actually got home and before she went to find Brosh. She started to say something to her lover, but she fell short when Riza walked out of her room without so much as a look spared in her direction. The brunette sighed heavily, preparing herself for the day ahead.


End file.
